Recently, I attended the wedding of a highly conscious and modern-day couple.
Instead of following a traditional approach with their vows, they had decided to write their own, a choice that’s becoming increasingly prevalent.
I’m not at all against convention, but if repeating an old-fashioned script that doesn’t sufficiently or accurately describe your feelings and intentions, then why not create your own?
Throughout the long-term proclamations into which they poured their hearts and souls, this couple included an abundance of personalized words that carried the unique signature of their love and intentions.
I was especially touched by the groom’s declaration, in which he described in detail how he would access his best self and bring it to their marriage.
In front of the congregation, he vocalized his heartfelt commitment to self-care, proper nutrition, exercise and sleep so he could be the best partner possible for his soon-to-be wife.
He also shared his genuine desire to honour, respect and support her personal-care needs, including regular back rubs and genuine communication.
Have you heard anything like this spoken at a wedding before? I haven’t.
I’ve certainly borne witness to couples who have written their own vows, and they were beautifully done. But this took it up to a whole level.
I could tell from the degree of their self-awareness that they are already light years ahead of so many couples who are struggling because they have forgotten the simple but profound adage, “you can’t give what you don’t have.”
Even more empowering, in my opinion, is that this couple clearly knows that they are going to get out of this relationship what they put into it.
If they invest the best of themselves, they are surely more likely to experience a healthy and happier overall experience together as a couple.
Whether or not they’re cognizant of it, this wedded pair is deciding to be the “sculptors and gardeners of their marriage.” In scientific terms, that makes them the neuroplasticians of their matrimonial existence.
The interesting thing is that we are all our own neuroplastician, whether we’re consciously invoking that ability or not. In each and every moment, we are either growing a stronger, smarter version of ourselves, or we are going in reverse.
This is based on modern-day scientific discoveries that tell us we can use the body we currently have to get the brain we ultimately want! This also means the life we want.
Every thought you think, word you speak, action you take, food morsel you eat, hydration drop you absorb, supplement you ingest, sleep stretch you get, smile you indulge, tear you shed, breath you inhale, movement you make—all of it—affects and sculpts your brain.
Not long ago, couples went into marriage simply hoping for the best and crossing their fingers that they had chosen the right partner. But with the divorce rate as high as it is, we now recognize that hope, for-better-or-worse promises, and good intentions will not likely suffice.
Just as a garden needs to be tended to yield a good crop, the harvest of your life will also be determined by your efforts—not the least of which is self-care.
While some may deem self-care a selfish act, it’s really the most generous thing we can do given the impact it has on others.
Clearly, the groom at this wedding understood this, as he saw it as an essential part of his wedding vows.
Obviously, this doesn’t mean our focus needs to be constantly inward. That would be out of balance. And certainly we need to make regular deposits into the lives of others. But at the end of the day, everything outside of us is a reflection of our inner world.
We tend to our gardens, vehicles and pets—but what about tending to the most powerful, sophisticated and advanced technology on the planet, your brain?
Just because your morning alarm went off, your eyes are open and you’re standing upright doesn’t mean your brain is fully turned on and ready for the day ahead.
Just because you’re sitting in a classroom with a notebook in front of you and a pencil in your hand doesn’t mean you’re ready to learn, perform an activity or write a test.
Just because a deadline is approaching, a work project needs completing or a decision needs to be made doesn’t mean you’re in a mentally clear and focused place to do it.
Just because you are living with someone doesn’t mean you’re in a place to relate, connect and enjoy each other’s company.
Just because you have a head on your shoulders doesn’t mean your brain is functioning and performing at its best.
It’s your responsibility (and opportunity) to make that happen!
Modern-day discoveries in neuroscience show that you do not need to become a neurosurgeon to affect positive Brain Changes. Indeed, you can become the neuroplastician of your brain without any equipment or instruments at all!
Brain Fitness activities are the ideal way to sculpt your brain throughout your day. They can be done anywhere, anytime. These Brain Breaks are essential to our overall health and wellness. They move us from using a limited portion of our brain to our whole brain potential.
Take care of your inner world and your outer world and everyone in it will reap the benefits. You can become the sculptor of your brain, your life and your results.